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The Gentleman

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(no subject) [Apr. 17th, 2006|02:24 am]
In the unlikely event that I ever kill a 10 year old girl or do anything else to arouse media interest, a note to you reporters: what you are reading is called a "blog" or "journal". Please do not refer to this in your stories as an "online diary." Thank you.
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(no subject) [Sep. 18th, 2005|02:17 am]
John Roberts once killed a man by shouting his own name.
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(no subject) [May. 29th, 2005|12:55 am]
[music |Ciara -- Oh]

Some guy on my hockey team wears the same # on his jersey as me, so all my points except one have been credited to him. People who search the internet for my name will see the league stats and think he is leading the team in scoring instead of me =(. I am going to kill myself.
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(no subject) [May. 2nd, 2005|02:55 am]
My company is rescinding my recent promotion because their employee tracking software indicates that I listen to the m-w.com pronounciation of the word "niggardly" too often.
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(no subject) [Feb. 12th, 2005|12:27 am]

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(no subject) [Jan. 31st, 2005|09:39 pm]
[music |Kasey Chambers -- The Captain]

I had my first idea at work today.
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(no subject) [Dec. 23rd, 2004|10:05 pm]
Alright, female livejournal friends. I've been able to withstand your incessant pleading to be compared to one another for a full year.

As before, the following livejournal girls appear in order of decreasing quality:


1. monkey1976
2. ineptus
3. frolicsome
4. pyrrhicvictory
5. mysteryfood (would be a few places higher if she had not given my dog genital herpes)
6. zany_zipp
7. jeepsterjuice
8. pipkin
8. caustica
10. fleshinnertube
11. queech
12. blenrock
13. dreamilyemily
14. ilyhtak
15. makeit_hot
16. therightgirl
17. dollyb
18. prettykate
19. old_girl
20. supafrosh
21. eyelid
22. shetwinkles
23. magicbluebubble
24. notlostonme
25. sauri36
26. devinluvsrussia
27. harumphh


xoxo

(Don't feel obligated to buy me gifts.)
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(no subject) [Oct. 20th, 2004|11:33 pm]


Sign up today for my "An Asian Person Has Almost Touched Me: Now What?" lecture series.
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(no subject) [Aug. 28th, 2004|04:29 pm]
[music |The Gits]

One morning I woke up and found my favorite pigeon, Gerald, had died. I was devastated and was gonna use his crate as my stickball bat to honor him. I left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something and I returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher. I rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right hand and he was out, convulsing on the floor like a infantile retard.
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(no subject) [Jul. 5th, 2004|05:08 pm]
My mom sent me this in the mail recently:

"When I grow up I want to be a Nintendow game maker because I think it would be fun to design your own Nintendov game I also want to be a zooaligest because I like studieing animals and I'm thinking about being a Lawer because I would get payed a lot. When I was two I wanted to be a pirot but I don't think I'm too thrild about That any more befor that I wanted to be a wreseler but I have made some changes."

-drederick, Feb. '89


To cope with this I have started my own comic:

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